Planning your engagement party will give you a taste of what it’s like to plan a big celebratory bash where you’re the centre of attention. The best part is, unlike with a wedding when there are certain traditions and processes you might follow, what you do for your engagement party is entirely up to you. So, whether you want a big, formal do at a swanky countryside hotel, or you’d prefer to get your closest family and a few best mates around to your house for some drinks and nibbles – go for it.
But, whatever you do for your engagement party, there’s only one way to make sure your loved ones are there – invitations. But how do you invite guests to your engagement party, what do you write and who should you invite to celebrate with you? In this post, we’ll let you know the answers to those exact questions and more, so you can throw the perfect party to celebrate your wonderful engagement.
Finding the perfect time to throw an engagement party is something of a balancing act. You and your fiance won’t want to dive straight into planning, and instead enjoy your time as a newly engaged couple. But at the same time, you’ll also not want to leave it too close to the wedding, because at that point your guests will be less excited about your engagement but super excited about your impending marriage.
The sweet spot is between two and four months after you get engaged. This gives you enough time to get used to the idea of calling your partner your fiance, plan a party from scratch and give your guests plenty of notice so as many of them as possible can come along.
For more help with what to do and when after you get engaged, read our detailed guide on what to do following your engagement.
Traditionally, the bride’s family are the ones to throw an engagement party, whether it’s at their home or a venue elsewhere. Of course, everyone’s situation is different, so this might not always be possible. Today, anyone can throw an engagement party and you can host it anywhere you please so long as it fits within your budget. Remember, the average cost of a wedding in the UK is £19,184, so you might not have all that much budget to spare.
Your budget may also influence the size of your party, so it’s worth bearing this in mind if you’re keen to invite 80+ guests.
For more information, read our guide on who traditionally pays for what at a wedding.
Once you know exactly how many guests you can invite to your engagement party you can put your guest list together. Generally, you’ll at least want to invite your closest family and friends and any members of the wedding party, even if you haven’t asked them yet. Then you might want to invite your wider family, other friends, colleagues and neighbours from there. But, it all depends on the size of your party and, ultimately, who you want to be there.
An important thing to be aware of is that whoever you invite to your engagement party will often automatically expect an invitation to your wedding. So, just bear this in mind when it comes to putting your guest list together. If there’s someone you don’t want to be at your wedding, you probably shouldn’t invite them to your engagement party as well.
How you invite guests to your engagement party depends entirely on the level of formality you’re going for. If you’re hosting a three-course meal at a golf club or even a party with a buffet at your local pub, then you may want to send out invitations.
But, if you’re having a few people round for drinks or a movie night, a text might just do the trick. Then again, nothing’s stopping you from sending out invitations for this, either. Or to keep costs down, an evite can tell your guests everything they need to know but with a little less formality.
Because your engagement party is a little more special than your average get-together, you’ll want to make sure as many guests as possible can make it. So, you need to give your guests as much notice as possible so they make sure they’re available. We’d recommend inviting your guests at least a month before the date of your party, but ideally six weeks if possible.
Basically, as soon as you’ve secured a date and your venue, one of the first things you should do is start letting your guests know so they can keep that date free.
If you want to keep things formal and send invitations through the post, there are plenty of options available. Couples spend an average of £414 on wedding stationery, which includes invitations that are usually highly personalised. With your upcoming wedding likely to cost a pretty penny, you may want to avoid spending nearly this much – thankfully, there are far more affordable options.
Card and stationery shops sell party invitations in bulk, which you can personalise by writing in each one. If you’d like them to look a little more formal, why not design your own and have them printed by a website like Vistaprint?
If you want to keep everything online (which is a super easy way to monitor RSVPs) then sites like Paperless Post are quick and easy to use. It’s a step up from a text or phone call, but not quite as formal as sending an invitation through the post.
Here at Bridebook we also have a huge range of wedding stationers, who can help you put together your perfect invitations.
Or, like we mentioned earlier, if your party is a lot less formal, there’s nothing wrong with a good ol’ WhatsApp group message to hit everyone at once. Just make sure you ask them to let you know by a certain date and keep track of who is and isn’t coming.
Read our post on ways to save money on wedding invitations, which apply just as well for cutting costs when it comes to your engagement party invitations too.
An engagement party invitation doesn’t need to say too much, just the who, what, why, where and when, in that approximate order. Then, your guests can ask you for all the juicy details of your engagement and your upcoming wedding at the party itself. Here’s how this information is broken down:
You can also include any other information if it’s important, which might be something to do with the dress code (if there is one) or whether you’d like them to bring anything along, like a bottle of wine or a few beers if it’s a barbecue at home.
You’ll also need to include how and by when your guests should let you know whether or not they’re attending, which could be an email address, postal address or phone number so they can drop you a text. At that point, if you’re putting on food you’ll need them to let you know if anyone attending has any dietary requirements.
The tone of your engagement party invitations should reflect the style and type of party you’re throwing, which means they can be formal, funny, minimalist or relaxed. For example, ‘Fancy coming to my engagement party, lads?’ is probably a little too casual if you’re laying out an expensive three-course meal, and ‘You’re cordially invited to join us for an evening of games and beverages’ may be a little too formal if you’re having a games night at home.
Use your judgement to decide how you should word your invitations. Then again, if your guests want to be there they wouldn’t mind however you asked them.
You don’t need to spend ages agonising over what to write and how to write it. Just write from the heart, be true to yourself and how you speak and put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard). If you’re not sure, here are a couple of examples to get you started:
Example 1:
She said yes!
Please join us to celebrate
the engagement of Alice White and Richard Baker!
Saturday 7th August at 7pm
Ridgeway Golf Club, Thornhill
Caerphilly, Caerphilly, CF83 1LY
RSVP [email protected] by 7th July
Please let us know of any dietary requirements
We hope to see you there!
Example 2:
Party time!
Peter Gardner and Ryan Eccles
would love you to join them for
food, fun and drinks to celebrate their engagement!
When: Sunday 11th June @ 2pm
Where: 34 Robbins Grove, Tring, Herts, HP22 1PG
Hosts: Julie and Warren Gardner
Please bring a bottle of your favourite tipple!
RSVP by 23rd May by texting 0723410471
If you’re hosting a particularly formal engagement party, then you may want to include postal RSVPs with your invitations. However, because engagement party invitations aren’t quite as formal as the invitations you’ll send out for the wedding itself, it’s absolutely fine to ask for a text, phone call or email instead. Just be mindful of any older relatives who might not have an email address, and let them know they can give you a ring if they’d prefer instead.
After you’ve thrown the engagement party to end all engagement parties, it’s time to throw yourself into planning your wedding. Sign up to Bridebook today to use our range of tools and resources to make planning your big day fun and simple.