10 Best Man Speech Mistakes to Avoid (And What to Do Instead)
Being asked to give the best man speech is an honour – and a bit of pressure. The good news is that almost every speech that falls flat falls into one of the same ten traps.
Avoid these, and you’re most of the way to a speech the couple will actually want to remember.
1. Making it about you, not them
The most common mistake: a speech that’s really a highlight reel of your friendship, with the couple as a footnote.
Guests want to hear about the groom, but through the lens of this relationship – what he’s like as a partner, what changed when he met his other half, why this day matters.
Keep the “remember when we…” stories short and always loop them back to the couple.
2. Forgetting to mention the bride or partner properly
If the only time the couple’s partner is mentioned is in the opening line, that’s a problem. Include a genuine, specific compliment or story about them – guests notice when they’re an afterthought, and so will the couple.
3. Turning it into a roast
A few affectionate jabs land well. A speech built entirely around embarrassing stories, past relationships, or “conquests” does not – particularly in front of family, colleagues, and the couple’s partner.
If a story would make either of them wince rather than laugh, cut it.
Discover wedding-approved best man jokes here.
4. Winging it
Even naturally funny, confident speakers benefit from writing it down and rehearsing out loud – ideally in front of one trusted person who’ll give honest feedback.
Reading the room live is hard enough without also trying to remember your structure.
5. Running too long
Three to five minutes is the sweet spot. Longer speeches lose the room, however good the material. Time yourself in rehearsal and cut ruthlessly – if a story isn’t earning its place, it goes.
6. Leaning too hard on inside jokes
A speech stuffed with references only the wedding party understands leaves most of the room checked out. Inside jokes work best briefly explained, not assumed.
7. Overdoing it the night before
Nothing derails a speech – or a wedding morning – like being tired and hungover for the ceremony. Enjoy the stag do, but treat the night before the wedding itself as an early one.
8. Skipping the toast
A best man speech should end with a proper toast to the couple – it’s the moment that gives the whole speech its purpose.
Plan the line in advance so it doesn’t get lost in the moment, and make sure everyone’s glass is actually full before you raise yours.
9. Not having a backup plan for nerves or tech
Print a copy of the speech as well as having it on your phone, in case of a dead battery or dodgy microphone.
If nerves are a worry, note key words rather than full sentences – it’s easier to speak naturally from a prompt than to read.
10. Forgetting the practical duties around the speech
The speech isn’t the best man’s only job on the day – rings, the stag-do, and looking after the groom’s nerves all fall under the same remit.
A best man who’s dropped the ball on logistics rarely gives a relaxed, confident speech. Sort the essentials early so the speech gets your full attention.
Frequently asked questions
How long should a best man speech be?
Aim for three to five minutes. Guests’ attention starts to drift beyond this, however strong the content, so it’s worth cutting material rather than padding it out.
What should you not say in a best man speech?
Avoid stories about the groom’s exes, anything that could embarrass the couple in front of family, and material that’s funny only to the wedding party.
If in doubt, ask whether the couple would be comfortable with their parents hearing it.
Do you need to mention the bride or partner in a best man speech?
Yes – a good best man speech speaks to the relationship, not just the groom. Include a genuine story or comment about their partner, not just a passing reference.
Should the best man speech be written down or memorised?
Written and rehearsed is safest. Full memorisation adds pressure that can backfire under nerves, while reading word-for-word can feel flat – a middle ground of key prompts, well-rehearsed, tends to land best.
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Last reviewed: July 2026
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