If you are opting for a traditional wedding, you will be provided with the ceremony wording by your officiant. If you have decided to write your own vows however, you will need to be a little more creative. Here is our guide on writing your vows.
Most couples write their vows independently and say them to their fiancé for the first time during the ceremony. This is a very emotional option(if you are a “crier”, this may be difficult) but can be very beautiful. Decide together if you are going to keep them secret until your wedding or not.
If you are writing your vows separately, you can optionally agree to stick to a set format such as the following:
[Name] I take you to be my [husband/wife]
[your own wording here explaining briefly why you love them]
I promise to …..[list of things that your promise to do]
[your own wording here explaining that you will love them forever]
A format like this can make it a little easier to write the vows and brings a consistency between both sets of vows during the ceremony. If you opt against a fixed-format like the above, you have more room for expressing your love through your word choices but sacrifice the consistency between bride/groom vows. This choice is down to what suits your personalities best.
If you are struggling for content, your relationship history is a beautiful reminder of your love. Mention mildly-funny(but sweet) moments, how you first met or a challenge that you have overcome together. This brings memories of your relationship thus far and leads you beautifully into looking at your future together.
So, you have spoken about your past. Now it’s time to mention the future. These promises are declarations of your love and commitment to your fiancé. Your promises can be anything you like as long as you intend to keep them!(don’t say “I promise to never be annoyed” as that’s impossible). Make them real, emotional and meaningful. Use generic promises such as “I promise to do all I can to make you happy” but also use promises that apply only to you and your fiancé, such as “I promise to love you even when you leave your mucky boots in the kitchen!”(this adds humour and lightness to your ceremony and gives your guests an insight into your relationship).
This is for 2 reasons. Firstly, you don’t want to bore your guests. And secondly, if you do get emotional, you will probably struggle to get through the rest of the vows so keeping it short makes it a bit easier for you.
Once you have written your vows, practice saying them out loud in front of somebody else. There is something about saying them in front of somebody other than yourself that makes it more emotional. You may be able to say them in front of the mirror with no problems, but saying them in front of somebody else could be a challenge.
There are many guides you can read on writing your wedding vows but in the end it all comes down to what you want to say. Be honest and be kind. Don’t leave it to the last minute as the stress will hinder you from writing really heartfelt vows.