Getting the length of your vows right can be tricky. We know you want to tell the world how much you love your partner. But, we recommend you save that for the wedding speeches and keep your wedding vows short, sweet, and to the point. Aim for an average of 2 to 3 minutes. This allows you to express your love without making your guests feel like they’ve settled in for a feature-length film.

This article explores exactly how long your vows should be, the benefits of writing your own wedding vows, and common pitfalls that can trip you up during the writing process. Keep reading to learn how to write wedding vows and nail the perfect length for your marriage promises.

What are wedding vows?

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Wedding vows are the promises you make to your spouse-to-be on your special day. Vows are read during the wedding ceremony and are traditionally first read by the groom. However, your wedding ceremony should be a reflection of your relationship, and you can read your vows in whatever order you’d prefer.

How long should wedding vows be?

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Wedding vows should last at least 1 minute but no longer than 4 minutes per person. Ideally, wedding vows should last between 2 and 3 minutes per person. This gives a total of 6 minutes on average.

If you have a lot to say, you can go as long as 4 minutes. Any longer than this and you run the risk of losing your guests’ attention. Keeping them within the recommended time frame ensures that your words are impactful without becoming overwhelming.

Should I write my own wedding vows?

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Writing your own wedding vows can be a great choice. Check out all the benefits of writing personalised wedding vows:

You have full control. Writing your own vows means you have full control over the content, length, and structure of your vows. Want to keep it short and sweet? Go for it! Feel like pouring your heart out with a longer expression of love? Totally your call.
Memorable for you and your guests. Writing your own wedding vows will make the ceremony more memorable for your partner and guests. Try injecting a funny anecdote, special memory, or personalised story into your vows to make your spouse-to-be smile.
A symbol of your commitment to your partner. Writing your own vows isn’t easy— it would be much quicker to stick to the standard script. But, by pouring your thoughts and emotions onto paper, you’re demonstrating a level of care and commitment that goes beyond the traditional.
Keepsakes for the future. Keep all the drafts of your wedding vows. It doesn’t matter if they were scribbled on the pack of a coaster or written in a special notebook. The different drafts of your wedding vows can be a unique and beautiful keepsake to gift to your spouse. They show your thought process in the lead-up to the wedding and are a tangible representation of the effort you put into your special day.

Pro tip: Frame every version of your wedding vows in side-by-side frames. You can then gift them to your spouse for your paper wedding anniversary (that’s your first anniversary – learn more in our wedding anniversary gift guide).

Common mistakes when writing your own wedding vows

Writing your own wedding vows or marriage promises can be tricky. Be careful to avoid these 4 common pitfalls:

1. Not leaving enough time for edits

We’ve all been there – we’ve left our coursework or homework until the day before the deadline. But your wedding vows are more than just words on paper. Rushing through the writing process may mean you miss out on important memories or sentiments that dilute the meaning of your vows.

We recommend starting work on your vows at least two weeks before the big day. Once completed, set your first draft aside for a week or so. Think about anything but your vows during this time. Once your mind feels fresh, come back to your vows and begin to edit them. Cut anything that feels forced or impersonal. You can also add extra anecdotes, inside jokes, or quotes if the vows feel too sparse. Check out our post of 100+ love quotes to inspire you.

2. Being too personal

Striking the balance between expressing your love without oversharing can be a delicate balance when writing your vows. It’s natural to want to tell your guests just how much you love your partner, but it’s important to remember that all their family, friends, and possibly work colleagues are present.

Focus on highlighting your partner’s best qualities, the excitement leading up to this day, and how blessed you feel to share your life with this person. Throw in a few anecdotes or inside jokes for good measure, and you’ve got a recipe for beautiful vows that hit just the right mark.

3. Taking too long

As mentioned earlier, taking too long to read your vows will risk losing the attention of and emotional connection with both your partner and your audience. Although vows are an important and lovely part of the wedding ceremony, it’s important that your words are heartfelt and sincere. Keep them short, sweet, and to the point.

Try to stick to the 2-minute mark for your wedding vows. You can increase it to 4 minutes at a push, but we don’t recommend going on any longer than this.

4. Not practising as you go

Practising as you go is a great way to sound out phrases or sentences in your vows. If something doesn’t quite sound right or flow smoothly, practising as you go allows you to make quick adjustments. This can reduce the overall editing process and help you get to your final product more quickly.

Write your own wedding vows today with Bridebook

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Writing your own vows gives you full control over the length, contents, and structure of your wedding promises. It’s the perfect opportunity to inject your personality and unique love story into your big day.

Wedding vows should be an average of 2 minutes in length. They should be at least 1 minute long, but no longer than 4 minutes. Focus on quality over quantity and make sure that what you say resonates with your partner.

If you’re feeling stuck, check out some of our posts on wedding vows and speeches. You’re sure to find inspiration in these 15 romantic and inspiring love poems. Or, if you’re looking for something more religious, try using snippets from our 25 best Bible readings post.

FAQs

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Is 3 minutes too long for wedding vows?

Like baby bear’s porridge, 3 minutes is just right for wedding vows. It gives you enough time to say everything you want to say without overwhelming your audience.

How do you end a wedding vow?

We recommend ending your wedding vows with a sweet sentiment. Try something simple like, “I love you” or “I can’t wait to start the rest of our lives together”, or something silly like, “I guess we’re pretty serious then?”

Who says their wedding vows first?

The groom traditionally reads his vows first. However, you can mix this up however you’d like in a modern wedding.